Anónimx 02

I’m stuck in this house and time has become removed from any sense of linearity far removed there are circles everywhere rippling through space repetitions I keep looking at these photos from Venice I’m stuck in this house and I’m writing to you about these photos from Venice and how in love I am with Cate Blanchett’s recycled red carpet looks because I’m stuck in this house and there’s not much else to do and if the world were different you and I would be on a date somewhere on the coast in southern California but I’m stuck in this house watching Cate B’s two new shows and I’ve been stuck in this house long enough that I’ve taken to calling her Cate B because she’s the only person I feel remotely close to at the moment because even when I talk to you I keep myself guarded and hide so many secrets do you know what I mean I’m stuck in this house and I’ve been meaning to write you a poem about the sea but I only ever seem to write to you about Cate and her recycled outfits at Venice and how I feel a certain way about her pantsuits how I want to own some of them how some of them make me cringe and laugh with their absurd patterns and I’m stuck in this house and I often feel lonely even though we text twenty-five eight but I’ve been stuck in this house for so long that even our conversations are beginning to feel repetitive and I don’t know if I’m having major deja vu or simply reliving days caught in a circle I can’t escape I keep looking at these photos from Venice because I’ve clicked on them enough times that Insta now thinks they’re the only thing I want to see which is maybe a little true but still it’s a bit obnoxious how the algorithm does that don’t you think I’m starting to wonder if you’ve taken any time to try to find Cate Blanchett on the internet because you want to know about the woman taking so much of my attention and I want to let you know that she doesn’t have any social media this woman didn’t even know what lol meant she sent it in a message to her friend who’d just broken his leg she said heard you broke your leg LOL thinking it meant Lots Of Love lolololol isn’t that hilarious where was I going with this I’m sorry if I’ve been extra spacey lately it’s just that I’ve been stuck in this house for so long and everything is different now and I’m different now and maybe we’re different now we’re different now don’t you feel it I think we’ve both been too afraid to say it out loud I’ve been trying to write a poem for you but I can’t get past the first line and my horoscope keeps telling me things I don’t want to hear and last night I watched another Cate Blanchett movie and I told you it made me all emotional but I didn’t tell you why and this morning you said I was in your dream that you were taking care of me and I didn’t respond right away because I still don’t know how to let anyone take care of me and I’m not sure you’ll understand because you’ve always had a family and I’ve been stuck in this house so long that even my chosen family is starting to feel distant and unreal and maybe that’s part of the reason why I keep looking at these photos from Venice because they feel so familiar and Cate B’s outfits are at the sweet spot of predictable and surprising and she’s someone I feel comfortable with now since I’ve been watching her movies and interviews do you remember back in the beginning when we used to ask each other all of those questions at one in the morning maybe there were better questions we could have asked like why are we trying so hard to make this work and what are we going to do when our lives pull us even further apart because I think we knew even then that we were heading in different directions I’m stuck in this house and obviously have too much time to think and I want to say all of this to you but I won’t I will only look at these photos and send you another message about Cate Blanchett